♥ heaven's kiss ♥

2009-10-06T09:13:00.000-07:00

this video showed at a meeting today left a deep chord in me. well of course i dont know how factual this video is but i bet the main ideas are true.

2009-09-19T07:46:00.000-07:00

yea, Beijing, here i come! :D

So, fast-forwarded to January next year, that is the place I will be. One year is no joke.

I will miss out the social life back in Singapore; I will miss my dearest friends' convocations; I will miss out on the fabrication process of my design project with my closest university buddies; I will miss attending boring lectures with my girl clique; I will miss chatting with my train cum bus companion; I will miss the chance of going work and travel to usa with my dearest friends; I will of course miss my parents and siblings - everything they do; I will miss studying side-by-side with my sister for that year; I will miss graduating together with my brother and sister; so much more to add...

As for now, there are too many and so much on my mind and zillion things to be done.

And for that, i will leave another time.

2009-07-21T20:39:00.001-07:00

2nd august

yup thats the date i will most probably be coming back. my boss has offered numerous times for me to put up at another colleague's place or even his own. in fact, he has done a lot.

well all good things have to come to an end. the 3 extra days may not needed. even though i will like to spend more time slowly walking down the old streets of hong kong or more time to get hold of cheap clothes, i surprise myself by entertaining the thought of snuggling in my good old rugged bed with a proper mattress and cuddling my smelly old bolster. i dont mind spending the remaining holidays, eating Singaporean food - kuay chap, hei mee, hokkien mee, chicken rice, loh mee, laksa. over and over again till im dead sick of them. in fact, i dont even mind having engin canteen food.

i cant imagine my brother or friends being in Europe or the States for so long where it is hard to have chinese cuisine. even i cant wait to sink my teeth into Singapore food, whats more them!

right now, i have a zillion of thoughts zipping and jostling through my mind. and it is all about academic issues.

i have to make a decision real soon.

2009-07-06T23:25:00.000-07:00

oya! i just checked out my new timetable for this coming sem 5. monday, tuesday, wednesday and friday, i end at 6pm! and when i have the slightest hope that i will end school earlier on thursday, i realise it's till 3pm. this is EXcluding one more module. holy cow! im going to stuck with human and vehicle traffic every day after school already. the only consulation is that lessons start later in the day.

i can see a packed timetable bull-dozing our way, ME peeps! whooo :DD

2009-07-06T20:08:00.000-07:00

yoohoo!

im back with more updates. it is lonely no more, cos i have Singaporean friends here till early august too! all thanks to jerk or else i wont be able to know a bunch of nus peeps. and also, i met siew kiang and jia tong here too! what a pleasant surprise (:

time is passing by at sonic speed. i have left with about 3/4 weeks before i bid farewell to this canton land. AHHHH bo xi gan liao! i have still a list of things that i have not done and i want to fulfill them before i leave.

1) ocean park! gosh, i can give up Disneyland for their exorbitant prices. but not ocean park!

2) outlying islands. lamma, cheng chaung islands. c'mon, give me some fresh air and CHUK, pls dont make me pay HK$200 for some baby food as lunch.

3) Macau! the land of gamblers. i want to see vegas look alike casinos and probably bet a few dollars there heh. well of course, not ending up with my first gambling debt.

4) Shenzhen! the land of counterfeits. i want to get some 'prada'/'LV' bags/wallets for my dearest friends in spore. many more 21st birthdays coming! if that fails, please at least indulge in some cheap (clean too, please!) massage. my old body is cracking up due to the bed and all the walking.

5) go-karting. i want to get a feel of a F1-race. but it's not cheap.

6) buffet. hongkong is a land of food paradise (minus away the salty food please). i cant wait to indulge in a good buffet with my colleague. the weight gain will probably be neutralised by any unfortunate case of ahem* the flu virus. (choy ah!)

7) wong tai sin. it's not a person's name. it's a temple with apparently accurate fortune-telling.

8) haircut. yes, how can i not get a hongkong haircut. everyone from exchange/overseas trips will most probably get a haircut in their respective country. so that they can come back to show-off their made-in-___ haircut. sadly over here, it's not cheap. the average neighbourhood price for a haircut is already more than S$14.

9) watersports. argh, sai kung (not sai kang!) is really beautiful. i bet the view from the watersports centre is even better. but it's 70 minutes walk from the town centre, unless we charter a bus.

10) pubs with live music. i just love listening to musicians crooning and strumming their guitars. or singers who can rock the stage and bring the house down.

right now, im busy sewing a keychain for mrs cheng. i paid >S$20 for it and the instructions are in japanese. how nice right! luckily i have my nice colleagues to ask for their advice haha. engineers at work.

Tee-Trish is getting into shape too. Hopefully we can start the ball rolling by the end of this week.

*taken at lau fau shan in early june by my colleague. opposite bank is shenzhen. this is one of the places where fishermen collect oysters. they brought me around to explore the vicinty during our lunch break. (an extra long one haha) we were originally in the area for one of the worksite visits. those who were with me have such fatherly figures. they keep asking me to take photos and were so willing to tell me more about hong kong and the area we were in.

heaps and heaps of empty oyster shells. this is just one of them. what a feast!

there are a lot of experiences to share and thoughts to express. but i will leave them to another time.

2009-06-24T21:56:00.000-07:00

yes, as some of you will know. im officially homesick and im going to announce it out LOUD. im not going to stop denying it. cos the more i deny it, the more awful i feel. well, i have been anticipating such strong emotions before i left spore. being alone in a somewhere new is indeed not easy. it's totally different from exchange , NOC or summer programmes, where at least you have SOME school mates with you, or the fact that you WILL soon make new friends.

toby joked before that why not i just stand on the streets and start making friends with strangers. well i figure a more appropiate place would actually be a clubbing hole, isnt it?

yes i dont like what im going through now. at least im bravely admitting that.

but im not regretting anything. i feel i have grown up a little more, laying a significant milestone in my twenty-first year. i have some pointers in my mind that i will want to achieve at the end of this internship.

im not very sure if i have attained all of it yet. but if all other fails, one thing for sure is that i want to prove to my parents that i've grown to a better person, stronger in character.

Little Wonders - Rob Thomas

Let it go

Let it roll right off your shoulder

Don't you know

The hardest part is over

Let it in

Let your clarity define you

In the end

You will only just remember how it feels

Our lives are made

In these small hours

These little wonders

These twists and turns of fate

Time falls away,

But these small hours

These small hours

Still remain

i always count my blessings to have really great friends and family. in times when i feel totally lousy, i will somehow receive little simple acts that will simply make my day. like the postcard and letter, emails and smses. i really really appreciate all these small acts.

" dont emo too much " - my brother

these are my little wonders.

thanks (:

2009-06-16T07:23:00.000-07:00

happy one month, hong kong :D

lately, i surprised myself by how independent i have learnt to be. for example, i went out alone last sunday to have lunch and did some shopping. initially, i was rather uncomfortable with the weird stares i occassionally noticed when i entered to a restaurant to pamper myself. that was when i felt so lonesome and craved for some company.

yet surprisingly, i have grown used to such solace. reading a good book, sipping on cool iced drink, people-watching from a cosy corner... it's been quite a while since i feel liberated by the constant control of time and people. i guess this is what i really needed away from singapore. living in your own world, things can become less complicated and it can get therapeutic in many ways. im learning to push away the boundaries of fear to become more independent and i must say, im loving the process of it.

the fact that i have quite substantial amount of free time on my hands, i've been doing some thinking; soul-searching you may call it. as a result (i guess there was a link), i made a few pretty extraordinary dreams, some are really good (i wish i knew the ending to it) and some i prayed i wouldnt dream of them again. i read from somewhere before that dreams can actually an illustration of your most inner thoughts, fears and joy.

one particular dream really set me thinking. it felt so real. i wished it was real. no kidding, i think i was smiling in my dream. it was just too perfect.

stranger - secondhand serenade

2009-06-13T08:47:00.000-07:00

3 more days and i will be here for a month. it's unbelievable. at this moment in time, i wish that time will crawl; let this summer holidays last longer; i dont wish to return to a sweltering singapore; i dont wish to start a 6 mods semester.

past few days, i've been indulging in good food, fresh oysters crabs red wine sashimi to name a few. and all thanks to mr cheng's family that i have such fantastic meals (:

2009-05-31T04:06:00.000-07:00

okay i should quit being depressed and update on more interesting happenings for the past week.

last sunday (coincidentally it was our class birthday too! 24th may), i met up with shuwen at tsim sha shui and headed for the an exhibition at the Hong kong Musuem of Art: Louis Vuitton: a Passion for Creation. i never knew LV is a form of art and it is interesting to note how the art forms of LV has transformed over centuries. the security at the exhibition is incredibly tight so we couldnt take any photos inside the exhibition.

after that, we went to the avenue of stars despite the downpour. honestly, the place is quite crappy; it's just yet another place to attract the tourists to cam-whore.

but in all, it was great spending some good time with shuwen. a well-spent afternoon despite the rain.

on monday, i followed by boss to the peak to a worksite inspection. i didnt enter the worksite but i got to see beautiful houses that are priced at billions. and the fact is that, there are so many of them!! also, BMW cars are quite commonly seen on the roads and other luxury cars such as porsches, rolls royce, mercedes.

on thurs (tuen ng festival: holiday! whee!), i went to the peak with toby (their son's name. actual name is tobias. haha unique name). disappointingly, there is nothing much to be seen on the peak itself as it was raining (again!!) and foggy. but the wind and rain were refreshing. the rain in hong kong is really fine and light, unlike singapore's. the madam tussued museum was quite a damper and we felt quite cheated after it. many tourists were busy snapping photos away but i didnt feel like being like one of them. oh and the musuem has this haunted house, something like we went through during fright night. oman, im really bad at this. even toby had to dig into it.

rest of the days have been spent watching tv, shopping a little here and there, playing monopoly (yes we were bored at home). BUT unfortunately, things went downhill after saturday. no more late nights, meaning no more dvd movies =((( this made my life even more borinnngggg.

and it's all my fault!! on saturday, i was at this worksite on top of an almost completed bridge with mr larry. everything was fine till i felt my vision turn blurry and i felt like fainting. i tried to control as i didnt want to attract any attention. but when i was at the brink of blacking out, i told mr larry that i needed to go back down for a rest. yea the rest is history when i was being sent back home (yes, history repeats itself). mr cheng was rather adamant that it was the lack of sleep that made me feel faint (which i think it was due to an assortment of reasons).

but im trying to take it positively. maybe i will watch them on weekends haha. (he has so many good movies at home!!!)

anyway, my sister is in HK. woohooo. and im going to meet her tml (hopefully)!!

also, i feel Robin Sharma's books are a good read, such as 'the monk who sold his ferrari' and 'who will cry when you die'.

this is an excerpt from the latter book:

"we live in an age when we have forgotten what life is all about. we can easily put a person on the moon but we have trouble walking across the street to meet a new neighbour. we can fire a missile across the world with pinpoint accuracy but we have trouble keeping a date with our children to go to the library. we have email, fax machines and digital phones so that we stay connected yet we live in a time where human beings have never been less connected. we have lost touch with our purpose. we have lost sight of the things that matter the most."

"Mahatma Gandhi: be the change that you wish to see most in your world & once you do, your life will change"

"victor hugo: the supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved"

some of these phrases may sound a little cheesy. but they really caught my attention of how true they can actually be.

right now, im reading a book called 'the white tiger' by Aravind Adiga. if you like black comedy or an amoral book, you should try reading it.

SHUWEN

photos from the worksite. i will upload more soon

2009-05-31T03:06:00.000-07:00

i never knew twilight songs can be that soothing.

well lets just say that im feeling rather homesick already. the life and the experience that i had expected and sought can be said to deviate quite differently from what i am in now.

there is nothing wrong with the host family im staying now. but maybe their lifestyle and ambience is just different from my own. at times, i just feel so much alienated; an intruder; someone who shouldnt be here.

i need to keep myself busy and entertained. yet i often found myself stuck at home; lying on the bed; watching loads of tv; taking longer baths; anything to look that im busy enough.

i cant wait to have my friends and sister to be here. it will definitely bring some cheer into my life now. these few days have been just ups and downs.

and i often asked myself whats wrong

2009-05-27T07:36:00.000-07:00

this is a blog entry (from my brother's friend) that i came across weeks ago, even before the exams. it is one of those kind of inspiring and thought-provoking entries that i feel the need to share with the rest.

This is Adrian Tan's speech at the convocation of students at the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information (NTU).

Adrian Tan is a litigation partner at Drew & Napier LLC.

LIFE AND HOW TO SURVIVE IT

I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It's a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation.

I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband. My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me. On the other hand, I am a litigator.

Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable. Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.

And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men:when you've already won her heart, you don't need to win every argument.

Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.

The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You're done learning. You've probably been told the big lie that "Learning is a lifelong process"and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters' degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that?

Teachers. Don't you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers. The good news is that they're wrong. The bad news is that you don't need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you.

You're in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy. I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people.

But I'm here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino.

It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There's very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.

Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.

So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you'll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper. Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they're 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn't meet their life expectancy.

I'm here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy. After all, it's calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average. Revisit those expectations.

You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates,you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.

That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste. If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them.

And you don't need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average. What you should prepare for is mess. Life's a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it.

Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment.

Your degree is a poor armour against fate. Don't expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look.

This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.

What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over. Since your life is over, you are free.

Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free. The most important is this: do not work. Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable.

Work kills. The Japanese have a term "Karoshi", which means death from overwork. That's the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there's nothing left.

A rock has been ground into sand and dust.There's a common misconception that work is necessary.You will meet people working at miserable jobs.They tell you they are "making a living".

No, they're not. They're dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful. People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free.

The slogan "Arbeit macht frei" was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense. Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort.You may never reach that end anyway.

Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.

I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator.I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn't do that, I would've been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction - probably a sports journalist.

So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don't imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I'll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions.

By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher. Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don't, you are working. Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication.

To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I'm not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth.

Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill .Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence. In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.

I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth.

I now say this to you: be hated. It's not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many.

That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross. One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it's often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one's own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions.

Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.

The other side of the coin is this: fall in love. I didn't say "be loved". That requires too much compromise. If one changes one's looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone. Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false.

Modern society is anti-love. We've taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason.

Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work - the only kind of work that I find palatable. Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human.

Loving is good for the soul. Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn't happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming.

It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm. You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart. You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back.Its value is to inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don't, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Don't work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

You're going to have a busy life. Thank goodness there's no life expectancy.

2009-05-23T16:27:00.000-07:00

the past week has been rather unpleasant (or darn unlucky).

first, i fell ill half way through the day at work on monday and had to stop work for 1.5 days. the diarrhoea that came after my fever was so bad that i felt like putting silencer at my buttocks.
second, i couldnt enter the office on wednesday cos i dont know how to open the door, even with the key.
third, i couldnt find my bus home after meeting shuwen on wednesday.
fourth, i got stuck outside of my house as i didnt know how to open the house door.
fifth, i got stuck outside of my ROOM as it was locked from within.
sixth, i got stuck outside (AGAIN!) just after i had help to open it. mind you, all these door problems happened in one day! i think i offended some door-god, if one existed! well aunty and i just had a good laugh together but their son kept suaning me and asked what uni i went to.
seventh, i took a wrong bus home on friday and ended up at another mtr station. so i ended up taking the taxi home.
lastly, when i reached home, they told me i didnt lock their main house door when i went out.

that was how exciting my week has been for me. oh man, i just cannot wait to settle down proper and sort out the public transport. also, communication has been tedious for me. even though you can try speaking english and chinese to the locals, you cannot help but feel like a third-class citizen living in their country, alienated from their normal daily street conversations.

well of course, things werent all disastrous.

first, i manage to catch angels and demons movie with their son on tuesday (albeit a full-tank gas stomach, it got really bad during the movie).
second, i met up with shuwen with her friends for some shopping at mongkok (gawd, it is superrrr crowded). the clothings are god-like cheap but please wary cos you tend to splurge and buy more instead. i didnt spend a lot of time catching up with shuwen, hopefully tml!! (:
third, my boss and the people in the office are pretty nice to me. one even ferried me home on monday to make sure im safe. thank you, uncle larry! also, the only lady there kept asking me to eat more and make sure im doing okay. in the office, it's pretty much only me and the lady as the rest are often out on the worksite.
fourth, i have been pigging out at home, lazing on their couch and watching dvds with their son. last night, we even drove out at 12plus am to get macs supper (dont worry mom, i didnt get any fries, not yet :p) and watched the departed dvd till 3am.

ive gotten the green card (yay! i dont even think they marked the tests hahaha) which will allow me to enter worksites. so i will be following some of the workers to the worksite and see how they test their machinery.

it's raining pretty much lately and you cannot possibly go to many places in such a rain. so today, im staying at home and aunty will be going to teach me how to make tiramisu cake and maybe lemon cheesecake tomorrow. she can bake and cook really well. mom jing, i will make for you all when i come back alright (:
the law school that their son attends. his university is really convenient, unlike ntu and nus. it is linked to a really big shopping mall with movie theatres and a skating rink.

on my way back home from work. the place i stay is the 2 brown towers on the right.

the view from the office

okay thats all for the week. i will try to take more photos and update the blog regularly. just wondering, is the weather in singapore still very hot?

2009-05-16T18:21:00.000-07:00

i finally reached HONGKONG! :D im typing this from such a view, facing the sea. the bed is rather uncomfortable but im sure i will get used to it.

this is my first trip alone. carrying my backpack, with my passport in-hand and no familiar faces in sight, i couldnt feel more independent than any points in my life. the SQ flight was an eye-opener, after taking budget airlines. i felt quite a sua-ku actually, silently wowing at the inclusive tv set infront of me - movies, music, games, all in one.

my oriental lunch

i was enjoying the movie - madacasgar 2 when the pilot announced that we would be experiencing some turbulences (argh, i hate it when they have to say that) everything was mild, except the sudden drop of height and violent shaking. people were in fact screaming. i nearly fished out my pen and paper to write my last words (choy!) haha but things resumed back to normal pretty fast.

when i reached the hongkong airport, nasty surprises awaited. the first one was to present another photo identification of mine which i didnt have any at all. i figure that the officer just couldnt recognise me with that face of mine in the passport haha. i gave some slipshod answer and she luckily accepted it.

the worse is that... my visa is a WRONG one! darn the embassy. after spending such money and waiting 5 whole weeks, they gave me the wrong visa. i was escorted to a private place and had to explained my situation. luckily the officer is pretty nice, and yes, she is really pretty too haha. in the end, they gave me an employment pass instead, and hope to settle the misunderstanding (or incompetence) with the department.

my host family is really nice and i already think that im gona miss them when i leave hongkong in 3 months' time. they are considerable rich as their family car is a porsche and have a BMW car(s) too. yet they are very down-to-earth. their furniture is simple and the wife cooks dinner every night for the family. (i love home-cooked food!) last night i played guitar hero with their son which i failed considerably haha.

also, last night over dinner, i met up with my boss and his wife. (i wasnt told so earlier!!) the boss seems like a funny guy and even lend me a htc touch phone, together with a plan. so that means i can save up on my handphone bills. how thoughtful!!

today im going to have dimsum for lunch. mr cheng and his wife are out for a game of golf (every sunday) and their son sleeps in till early afternoon. so i pretty much have the whole house (including kitchen) in the morning. later on, im going to learn how to take public transport and i have been warned that if i get lost, it will be my fault. oh man, i think im going to video the journey and make sure i get my directions right.

oh, this entry has been rather long. i hope to keep my entries going. as for now, i need to learn cantonese. mr cheng told me 'one week, thats all you need'. but i seriously doubt so =x

[pls ignore the timings for the blog entries.]

2009-05-13T13:32:00.000-07:00

im enjoying my last afternoon of slack-at-home-till-my-butt-rots. 2 more days and i will be zipping off to hongkong. like what i have said before, the reality will not sink in till i step over the departures line. there are a few things i need to prepare before sat, hopefully i can get everything in time.

and yesterday i made a very random and last minute decision. i rebonded my hair. i just wanted a neater look and my mom commented that i look like a ghost now and misses my natural look. owell, just a once-in-a-lifetime experience, this will be first and last time i will be doing this. on another note, i feel like i look like the mech engin guy who rebonded his hair. haha =p

2009-05-12T01:58:00.000-07:00

YEA i finally gotten my visa this morning, albeit waiting 5 weeks for it! and this piece of paper costs me 80bucks...

im feeling quite satisfied today cos' i completed 4 things that were on my 'to do list'. one of which is to clear some of the things in my room. yet again, i came across things that i still cannot bring myself to throw away, such as a watch that has broken into several parts, some of the strings that was tied around my hand at laos, amongst other tattered and torn items that are just priceless in terms of memories keepsake. but now that we are moving house soon, these items are in serious jeopardy.

one of the things i chanced upon is a piece of letter that my jc physics teacher gave to everyone in our class:

Law of Resonance

Christiaan Huygen was a scientific genius of the early 17th century. He discovered a law of resonance which was well accepted in physics later and is now being applied to brain science.

The story goes that Huygens kept a few pendulum clocks on the wall of his room. Each clock swung independently. He discovered that after a few cycles of independent swinging, all the clocks started swinging precisely in a synchronized rhythm.

He deduced that waves from clocks produced vibrations in the wall which in response produced waves that synchronized the rhythm of all the clocks.

Scientists are now studying if this same phenomenon occurs in human brain waves.

Have you ever noticed that successful people are surrounded by similarly successful ones? Is it mere coincidence that when like-minded people are at work, success is more likely?

In applying this theory to your life, you must "pick up" good influence and have faith that great things are possible. Similarly, avoid the naysayers and complainers. They give out negative vibrations that could impact your own thoughts and behaviour.

Your mind reacts to them like walls did to the clock and produces similar waves. Before you realise it, you would already have lost faith in your dream.

Your mind is the source of your strength that enables you to carry the burden in difficult times. Be focus on your dreams and you will not derail from them due to negative influence.

- taken from a 'slice of life' (power 98)

so focus on our own dreams. no matter how big or small they are or how tough the going gets, dont lose sight of the bigger picture.

2009-05-09T02:09:00.000-07:00

today has not been a good day. it started off with an almost sleepless night with my rashes appearing, more aggressive this time.

at this time, i would have been spending my first night at hongkong. but it's a blessing in disguise that im not there yet, else i will have more sleepless nights.

please let it recover soon!

2009-05-02T21:39:00.001-07:00

pleasseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee stop spreading!!

2009-04-22T04:06:00.000-07:00

im praying fervently and crossing my ten fingers that SOMEONE from the embassy will call me soon. real soon!!

2009-03-26T01:34:00.000-07:00

it's confirmed! if there are no last minute changes, im flying on the 9th of May, 11am flight, to hongkong. i will be back after 12 weeks, the return date is not confirmed yet. i am silly or crazy enough to start missing everyone already.

postdated: i had great fun on my birthday party. when i have more time over at hongkong, probably i will elaborate more about turning 21. (: thanks to those who made it happen.

be well, all.

2009-03-07T19:13:00.000-08:00

my second 21st present!

this word - APPROVED! so hongkong, here i come on 11st May (: even though i still rather upset that Sydney was cancelled last minute cos' i cant meet my dear friend, weilin over there!

still im looking forward to meeting up with some of my dearest friends over at HK, like shuwen! and if my ME friends like wang rong, nelson n jeremy can meet me over there too! this internship will be a start of true independence, with no friends/family around me 24/7. but im sure i will do alright!

more updates soon, right now more tests coming up this week.

jiayou everyone!!

2009-02-17T05:18:00.001-08:00

8th May... do i have the courage and strength to make the leap?

when i feel that im losing myself, please pull me back up. i got to believe in myself. and please stay by me.

2009-01-04T09:11:00.000-08:00

"life is an opportunity, benefit from it
life is a beauty, admire it.
life is bliss, taste it.
life is a dream, realise it.
life is a challenge, meet it.
life is a duty, complete it.
life is a game, play it.
life is a promise, fulfill it.
life is a sorrow, overcome it.
life is a song, sing it.
life is a struggle. accept it.
life is a tragedy, confront it.
life is an adventure, dare it.
life is luck, make it.
life is too precious, dont destroy it.
life is life, fight for it."

-Mother Teresa.

i highlighted these 4 points as it applies to me right now. but the rest is still no doubt very true. nothing can ever take away something really close to your heart. i always feel that sometimes you dont always have to be answerable to anyone else. if you believe strongly in something and it doesnt bring much hurt to you and those around you, then just go for it! life is for yourself to create and there is no u-turning back in any point of time. just make or break it.

yet sometimes, i dont even want to bother if i even bring hurt to others, sometimes i just want to be selfish and lead the life i want for myself. it's always nice to daydream of breaking out of the conventional, like: living on your own in a small apartment, flying away to another country to work for a few years, backpack across continents and settling down whenever you feel tired, be on a boat a cruise to never-ending horizons, stayover at any village you come across.

we all have little dreams of our own. but sadly, most of the time these massless dreams will never come to life as we are tied down by responsibilites. things will be different if you dont have any kin or kith on earth, or is it?

a new semester is starting soon. im all excited for the trebuchet competition my friends and i are taking part in. and also the dialect classes that is taking flight in february.

the hols is rather short and unbearable. i just cant wait for lessons to start. haha woohoo!! bring it on!! :D

Death Cab for Cutie - A Lack of Color

2008-12-27T07:04:00.000-08:00

the end of the year is coming around yet again. i feel that the events that occurred within the last few weeks have been so overwhelming that i find it hard to believe one year has passed and one more year is bulldozing towards me. bulldozing cause i dont know what kind of shit lies ahead of me.

the latest shit that has happened is that i discovered 2 lumps on my neck on xmas eve (of all days rite!) whilst bathing. i tell you, i literally stoned! quickly, i called my nurse fren for advice and she decided to accompany me to a clinic she knows of on friday. i was hoping that the doctor will tell me it is due to some muscle strain. but the visit resulted me in taking a blood test. gawd, i hate needles! the doctor gave me 1001 possibilities for the diagnoise. it can be due to TB, viral infection and well of cos the unspeakable. also, i told the doctor about this fishbone that kena stuck at my throat one month ago. that could be one possibility too.

now all i can wait is for the blood test result out on monday.

i must really thank my nurse friend for purposely changing her shift to take me to the doctor and providing so much valuable advice and comfort.

i feel bad not informing my family about this too. sorry.

then today, i got another few scares. my fren called me and suddenly started crying, i really thought sth bad happened to you! then after a gathering, my mom called home and was panicking cos' she cant find my dad at the park. they went there to exercise. she came back first lest she faints in the park. so i ran out to find my dad with bad thoughts running in my head. alas, i saw him crossing the road back near the park. argh i felt so so so... haiz, it's even worse when he was so nonchalent about it.

---

everyone seems to be so pessimistic and worry about so many things in life. why cant life get more simpler? when i questioned that, someone replied me that it's only with such adversities that a person can be truly optimistic. we got to admit and acknowledge the fact that life is about suffering, pain and death. only after accepting that, then we can move on and celebrate what is left. celebrate about friendships and love. celebrate about the smiles you witness. celebrate about the care and concern you receive. celebrate about being healthy. celebrate about waking up to a next day. celebrate the thousand and one things that you can feel sad at the same time.

thats what i learnt this past few weeks. at the back of our minds, even when you feel you are fighting a losing battle, carry that little amount of hope. be optimistic! dont overworry!

and so, after every battle, even if it's a lost one, we will all emerge as stronger individuals, triumph as a champion as we learnt something precious, that is to never give up.

to javier, im sure that the kid did the very same thing.

2008-12-18T06:13:00.000-08:00

december holidays thus far

2008-12-10T01:59:00.000-08:00

Didn't we Love

ignore the animae pictures haha.

At Your Side The Corrs

---

the uncertainity state of life.

the fragileness.

love it or hate it.

---

bring me somewhere far far far far far far far far away, please.

---

anyway some random thoughts to some peeps(: sunny, im going to kill you soon!! u'd better show your face real soon hahaha. and caijie!! i think i need go down to ur hall to hunt you and eileen down already. and other impt peeps too! i hope to keep in touch with many others too. (:
yes, still waiting for my snow city and zoooo trip. if can, science centre too haha. yes of cos, ktv session with nelly, jerk and the rest too. and more voluntary work! YES, just keep me busy!! hahaha (:

happy holidays!

2008-10-26T09:27:00.000-07:00

for SUNNY!

YA this post is for you! so u'd better start getting ready to pass me my taiwan present haha. yes yes yes, i miss the times when we meet over dinners, the times we chat almost anything. u're a great buddy. so lets keep our friendship growing and steady k? (: we will meet up VERY soon, i hope haha. meanwhile, take care and hopefully u're silently grinning to urself that i've wrote such a LONG entry just for you, since i absentmindedly missed out ur name earlier.

---

i will stay strong and keep my spirits up. dont want to let my thoughts go astray. i will be just fine, hope you will too. hopefully things will be back to where it was. im not dreaming of anything big, just small hopes and praying for some miracle to happen.

2008-10-18T00:09:00.000-07:00

from what's right and wrong

it feels like i have come to a dead end.

things always dont go the way you want it, right? if i manage to cross this hurdle and overcome this setback, will things be right again and improve for the better?

i thought that it will be you who will be letting me down, it seems like the sinner will be me instead.

...

明天會更好

...

there are so many people whom i miss dearly! like interact excos, weilin, liching, PENGFEI (where've u disappeared?! =p), muskies, shuwen, laykoon, jerica, javier, yep peeps and so many more. i cant wait to catch up with you all.

but first, exams will be staring and breathing hard on me, so lets fight it back everyone(:

2008-09-26T00:35:00.000-07:00

"if you want to walk fast, walk alone.

if you want to walk long and far, then walk with me"

---

things have been rather rough for our family lately, esp you. some things can be left unspoken, that you know how much you mean to us, esp dad n mom. so take care of urself (: we will be there to support you, in any way possible. JIAYOU! (:

---

7 or 8 more weeks to the end of term 3. it's will be a rollercoaster ride from next week onwards. the pangs of anxiety, fear and stress will set in really soon, i guess i'd better get myself mentally prepared.

2008-08-30T20:45:00.000-07:00

happiness is lingering in the air.
can you feel it, can you smell it?

really, lucky and fortunate.
dont know what more i can ask of.

2008-08-27T09:58:00.000-07:00

life is getting crazier, workload is pilling up.

right now, i got a lab report, ctw research, modelling tut, ctw mindmap to do in like 1.5 days??! worse still, my lessons end at 5pm, followed by tuition till 8pm.

sorry about the whining. maybe by listing this down, i will make myself even more stressed, and more focused on what i need to do. haha, reverse psychology.

but but, i know i will be alright. with what's happening around me, especially with my loved ones around, i know i can make it through.

when we believe, miracles can happen (:

kor, hope things are going fine over ur side. yeaps, we're missing you too. eat well, sleep well, & take care!

2008-08-24T10:22:00.000-07:00

yes, thank you for loving me (:

a new stage has been set and i hope the curtains will never be drawn.
jiayou everyone! (:

2008-08-13T09:07:00.000-07:00

take care my dearest brother. i think we all did well last night at the departure gate. was rather scared gates of tears will open, but luckily there wasnt much. probably we were just controlling real real real hard. the day before on my way home after getting the card, emotions were just too hard to control.

yes, saying goodbye is always very difficult.

like it a not, goodbyes are inevitable.

those that are going through difficult goodbyes and departures, be strong. be very strong. have faith that the reunions will always taste much sweeter.

throw the seeds of fate hither and yon into the wind. and let the wind decide the rest. cos the rest is beyond our control.

---

sch is into its first week. it has been rather slack, with only lectures. the testing moment will come next week. i will grind my teeth and hang on! with support from peers, family and loved ones, i will make it through! (:

"positive energy!!" - anita (:

2008-07-31T01:18:00.000-07:00

last week

i stopped work on friday, brought it forward so that i will have more time for my family, esp with my brother before he leaves on 12 august.

the week has been well spent, even though my father said he hasnt seen me for 3 days =// tues night was spent watching the dark knight with my family and ling ((: 3 thumbs UP for it!! weds night i went to smu for s'piritmakers briefing, first time there haha like sua ku =pp good thing carey knows the place inside out. and it's great seeing familiar faces again (: cant wait for this sat's retreat.

thurs afternoon, i took half day off for cz pri's conflict management workshop, only 4 trainers in total. the kids were sooo hyper and cute, like always. carey nearly blew his top when he couldnt drive into the sch, the sch really cmi cos there's only one gate which only allows vehicle in and not out?!! so weird..

so aft the workshop was back to hg mall to meet muskies, thou hy couldnt make it :(( time was well spent catching up with the past 1 month. duno when can meet up with them again. argh nowadays it's getting tougher to find a common time to meet up with friends eh.

friday night was spent watching 10 promises to my dog with kb. the things this fella does... *shakes head haha never fail to surprise me.

sat morning weilin and i went to SIA-MINDS to help out in their workshop by tending to the IDs while their parents attend the workshop. it's the first close contact with them, other than the haw par villa family day. it was a good experience, it amazes me how dedicated the permanent staff are. later in the afternoon, i hopped on the bus with the MINDS REACH OUT team (charles, huixin n jackie were there too!), makin our way to RJC for minds myg sports day. it was rather impromtu. weilin couldnt join me but luckily kb came down to help out too. on the bus, i was quite taken aback by the cheerfulness of the entire RO. they (both volunteers & IDs) were singing spontaneously with the mic on the bus. darnn cutee and funny! (:

after the whole day, i felt quite mentally drained. it's like on the surface, you can treat them so normally. the way i handled with the ids were akin like how i treated kids from poor/broken families. the biggest take away from the day was how one ID - rui yi came up to me and told me she loves me. it really warms your heart to see what a close relationship the IDs can forge with the volunteers, like how they love to hold onto your hands. i guess they need the kind of physical touch that someone cares for them.

sunday my family had a buffet lunch over at my house, sort of as a farewell celebration for my bro with my relatives, my siblings' next halfs and his frens. it was great as usual seeing most of my relatives gathering together, chatting on issues like relationships studies marriage etc. some of my aunties are uneducated but that doesnt mean their opinions or views on life isnt any less worthy and i love talking to them even in my half past six chinese ability haha.

this week

tues aft helpin my dad in his office, my bro ling n lai kuan went to the southern ridges. it's a must go place, a phototaking haven with the scenic background overlooking the waterbay and the lush greenery. i've yet to explore the entire place though, only walked from harbourfront till telok blangah hill. hortpark looks unlike spore!! cant wait to get there!!

me & ling (:

more photos next time! some can be found in my bro's blog: http://www.shoshin-zazen.com/photo-albums/panasonic-fz-18-test-pictures/#

weds: project can distribute
thurs: cac chalet at pasir ris NS chalet, glad i could spend some good time with koon (: sorry i couldnt stay for the night once more!
today: yay! my sis has finally end her special sem so we gg to do some long awaited shopping at bugis n have dinner at soup spoon. i love that place :DD then gg to attend bro's emap graduation ceremony at national library.

okies this more or less sums up my third n second last week of hols.

---

one more week till sch reopens. really hope to do things that i've yet to do.

---

" do you remember this song. cos' i do. you then told me that it was your favourite too. is it still your favourite. are things any different. it is, isnt it. the invisible barrier between us. the barrier we swore we never will build.

why.

im still hoping for a day. the day when we can meet eye to eye. a day when we can be friends that we were meant to be right from the start.

cant we.

i dont want to sms or email you, cos i dont wish feel disappointed over again and again.

and cos even if you dont, at the very least i can comfort myself and find an excuse that you dont read my blog.

will you even bid me farewell? will you.

but even if you dont, i just wan to let you know i dont have any hard feelings towards you. i hope you dont have any towards me too. sometimes there are just not enough reasons or explanations for all the questions in the world. your next phase and journey in your life lies ahead of you. i wish you a very safe and fulfilling semester ahead. jiayou, my fren! (: thank you for all that you have given me - advice, encouragements and memories (: "

2008-07-19T08:55:00.000-07:00

Death Cab for Cutie - I’ll Follow You Into the Dark

the things i've received - literally or non-literally, im not sure if im able to reciprocate. is it always better to receive than never give at all? i rather it be the other way around.

last night chatting with liching for the night made me realise things that i've thought before. especially my priorities at this stage of life. i realise i've been dabbing into too many little things that im forgetting what i'm exactly looking for. thats why sometimes i feel rather lost. even though i feel like i studied quite a lot during my semesters, the results is not good at all. i guess it's cos' i havent been concentrating or focusing as hard as i should have been, i've been too distracted along the way. so when semester 3 (i cant tell you how much i detest this sem, even before the sem starts, im alr hoping it ends soon!!!) starts, im going to stop voluntary work (last one being 31st august) and commit my heart n soul to my studies, while carrying on with driving lessons n tuition. it's really time to get dead serious. though it's quite sad that im not the type of person who can balance both work n play well. some people can play real hard but study as much too.

it's funny that before every semester, i always feel so hyped up of really studying hard but when the lessons start rolling, things become another story. really hope this semester i can prove myself wrong.

so, go away you bugger distractions.

ahhh, studying really makes me feel olddddddd.

2008-07-14T08:53:00.000-07:00

容祖兒 - 別說愛我

我並沒有那翅膀
只有瘦瘦的肩膀
它最多把淚擦乾　
關上門窗天空那麼高　
我怎麼搆得到你曾形容的天堂　
門牌卻是個問號我邊想邊睡不著　
也找不到你知道快樂對我有多重要

＊別說愛我　別說想我　
因為耳朵是通往心底的　
那些不會成真的聽了心痛　
別說愛我　你沒愛過　
世上真話不夠夢境太多　
如果你是善良的　
你會放開手讓我　
經過＊我並沒有離開過　
卻不停的看你走勉強握緊的永久　
維持不了多久我不要一個沒靈魂的感動

---

why do i have to know so much? so what if i know that much? what good does it brings?

i still remember the promises i made THEN, the things i promised i would do. but where does these all fit in NOW?

why is the past still haunting me?

---

few nights ago, i had troubles sleeping cos of what my fren told me then. it made me realise how fragile human relations can be, be it a person's life, relationships and even friendships. often i take friendships for granted cos' i assume friends will always be around by my side. it made me start to think also what can cause a friendship of lets say nearly ten years to crumble. accumulated misunderstandings? money issues? matters of the heart? conflicting ideologies? it definitely cant be just something of a molehill. hopefully i wont see myself in such a situation.

---

just a random picture taken from our chalet few weeks back. hahaha i find it really funny!! duno what we two are doing actually =pp

2008-07-06T09:04:00.000-07:00

let me give a quick update of what's happening in my life...

my work at the treasury started on tues together with one and only huiying. yea finally! (: working with such a close friend really makes the time shorter. but of cos' the sleeping bug kept bitting me. but with someone to constantly irritate and slap me really helps haha. yea lets enjoy each other's company till end july!

on weds, we ate lunch with cai jie! (: what a coincidence that we're working in the same building, just one level above mine. cai jie, u looked super cool in that jacket!! :D

as for the rest of the days, they were spent crashing nus cac camp, meeting frens and yep mates for dinner, rushing through gifts for ling, weilin and my cousin. yea im currently on high addiction in sewing cushions and making bracelets.

also, i needa give special thanks to WK for giving me 2 ndp preview tickets. gawd, i was so pleasantly surprised to receive the sms from him. and at the instant, i was yellin to myself, yes i want them!! :D i wanted to bring my sister along and surprise her, but she had to work :(

so i brought weilin along!! yeaaaa im so glad, she can make it! we were so hyped up before we meet :DDD the performance was quite a letdown but the atmosphere was terrific!! the primary 5 kids were so darn high!! and i managed to meet my cousin in the sea of red who was so happy that she couldnt sleep the night before. the fireworks at the end was of cos the BEST segment!

yes, with driving lessons, tuition, work, taiji, volunteering, im getting busier yet im lovin' it (: also, im thinking of taking up private german lessons. even though it gets rather difficult to balance time for urself, family and friends, i hope to better learn better time management.

welcome, life!

---

life is all about choices. so if i were to take a wrong turn, i have to learn to bear the consequences.

2008-06-30T09:14:00.000-07:00

outside our guestroom at vang vieng - a paradise (:
tubing at vang vieng
in our positions - at Buddha Park in Vientiane
some of us went to explore our way to this stream away from the village
ling eric me bro. yes, us extras (:

s'piritmakers workshop at Zhangde Pri

14th Jun

Sentosa Trip Jun 2008

with VRN & dearest weilin (:

erm im just posting photos randomly haha. finally huiying and i are officially employed for a month, yea starting work tml ((:

everything is looking smooth and nice. and yea if my dream of going to germany for my VIP will come true. i hope to make it happen (:

2008-06-28T10:02:00.000-07:00

(: finally we had our chalet! will post more photos soon.

2008-06-25T07:29:00.000-07:00

life's been nice and easy on me. with driving lessons on the way which interestingly, i find very thrilling n fun. with hopefully a new proper job next week with hy. with a 3 days chalet with my closest bunch of frens. with a happy and close knitted family despite daily bickerings. with the care concern i receive every day, without expecting anything in return. im thankful for each and everything.

while i admit im not a perfect person, while i agree im neglecting certain areas in my life, while i try to polish up those grey dull areas...

im learning to cherish every little things in life.

...

suddenly my thoughts are brought back to the conversation i had with a wise young friend who enlightened me on various issues.

if you know or forsee yourself getting into a stinky situation where you involuntarily get hurt, why even fall for it in the first place?

why even create that opportunity in the first place?

maybe people, or maybe only me, love to contradict themselves or love to step themselves on their own feet?

ya. and i know im always the foolish one who ends up with a big fat heavy rock or boulder or hill or mountain on my feet.

dumb me.

but without setbacks, i will never learn right? (im comforting myself haha) well hopefully im gaining at least a weeny bit from everything im losing.

2008-06-19T14:13:00.000-07:00

郭靜－不藥而癒

我試圖去尋找愛情和我們之間的關係

everything feels like falling into place very nicely, just the way i want it to be. if only this comfortable feeling, the feeling of having all the freedom i have is built to last.

(:

2008-06-16T22:00:00.000-07:00

im being bombed by not very nice news every other day. the other day, i broke down due a unpardonable mistake on my part. it may well have ruined my academic future. then few days later, i receive news that my mentor from my freelance company had a stroke relapse. followed by news of a death of a fren's fren. then came stories of relationship breakups.

whats next...

even though all these news do not affect me directly, i still feel that ache, that pinch, that bitterness. and of cos, questions of why them of all people bombarded me.

questions of fate and death, sickness and happiness, them and not me.

luckily my brother's deep interest in Budhhism has brought me some relief and simplifies otherwise life's complicated issues.

on sunday for two hours straight whilst ironing clothes, i had nothing to do but think what i can do with the rest of the holidays. i do not have any concrete plans, yet i feel im wasting every single precious day when others can put them to better use, in place of me. imagine people who only have a ticking time bomb attached to them. it makes me ashamed of how i lead my life.

to my frens, please keep having faith that tomorrow will be a better day. and despite how amazingly crazy jam-packed schedules, please try to let ourselves always cherish every single day and love those around us.

kelv just shared this with me: there's always more to do in life or else we'll have nothing tomorrow to wake up to.

---

all these turn of events and my yep experience has shaped me quite a bit. i've learnt to take things easier, look things at a brighter side and letting go things that are not meant to be.

as for you, tears still come to me when i think of you, when i try to think of why things have to turn out this way, when i think of all the happy memories, without a single sad one. but there dont seem to be any answers to any questions. maybe there are but i never get about asking you. so i stopped questioning myself and i gave up believing. my special friend, i wish you all the happiness you can find, be well (:

---

i will post up more photos from my laos yep trip soon.

on the notorious 7 hours bus ride from LP to Vientiane. passed by many plantations mountains and more greenery.

a paradise to me. during the extension at vang vieng. on our cycling trip to some caves.

2008-06-16T21:54:00.000-07:00

Secondhand Serenade - Fall for you

2008-06-14T00:56:00.000-07:00

im getting my life back on track.

(:

and i cant be more than happy with what i have around me.

cherish.

2008-06-06T23:30:00.000-07:00

recollection of past memories can become a pain in the ass.

not cos' i dislike thinking about the past.
but cos' it makes me yearn even more to return to the past,

when i understand that i should face reality and live for the present.

as i walked down orchard road,
as i strode along chinatown,
as i paced aimlessly in shopping malls,

i closed my eyes for half a second,
praying fruitlessly and stubbornly that when i open my eyes,

i will find myself amongst the laughter of kids, the greetings of saibadee, the droning of insect sounds, the soothing sunsets. amongst mountains streams rocks trees flowers...

also, i realise that it is the escapade of reality that makes me miss this expedition even more. cos for the next few months, i know i cant hide away from my stinky grades and aimless life anymore.

i need a new direction. a new focus point in life.

2008-06-04T17:13:00.000-07:00

im back from an incredible experience of a lifetime.

from spore to KL. to Vientiane. to Luang Prabang. then to Muang Kham village. from Muang Kham village back to LP. then back to Vientiane.

15 fulfilling days.

from Vientiane to Vang Vieng. then back to Vientiane again, followed by KL and finally spore.

adding 4 more memorable days.

in total, 19 beautiful priceless days.

it's not easy trying to putting those memories into words. much less try and let others have a taste of the ups and downs, bitter sweet, happy sad experiences, with lifeless words.

photos may speak a thousand words. but i feel it's the subtle things we experience in life that get uncaptured, yet we still can remember for a long time to come. it's the raw feelings emotions that it's never easy or impossible to encapsulate in words with the limited vocab skills i have.

i love the feeling of working together as a team. the feeling of caring and looking after one another. the feeling of encouraging one another on. the feeling of sharing almost anything even our deepest secrets. the feeling of trusting relying on one another even in times of adversities. the feeling of laughing crying teasing singing stargazing sleeping whining dancing together. the feeling of falling sick and ls-ing together.

it's not about just one person. it's all about us, 23 of us, plus xai. it's all about us, with the villagers of muang kham. it's about how our lives have interwined and forged together for those nineteen days, despite the language barriers. it's about the footprints we left behind, the laughter in the wind, the tears in the sand.

yea im suffering from laos withdrawal symptoms.

2008-05-15T01:39:00.000-07:00

ܤ up up and away!

by BlueJeff

be back aft 3rd june.

---

take care everyone & good luck for exam results.

hopefully when im back, i will be a better person, with a clearer mind of my short and long term goals, the priorities in my life...

i really do wish i can put everything behind me cos' im nearly giving up hope of retaining even the last bit of friendship we promised to share...

where exactly have you been?

it will be a new journey, starting tml night (:

---

16/05/08, 1.08am

2008-05-14T13:20:00.000-07:00

Kelly Clarkson - Gone

Aslyn - that's when i love you

張晉樵-如果這都不算愛

2008-05-11T01:37:00.000-07:00

im tired. from the last meeting session before our departure. and from the aching pain at my tail-bone.

a foolish me fell on my butt while rollerblading at ecp yesterday. it's super duper painful. but i really do count my blessings that i didnt hurt my spine or something. when i landed on the ground, my vision immediately went blurry, i felt i was floating. i was so so so worried i would black out, i rmbed calling out to anita to hold onto my hand, while the rest was trying their best to remove the horrendously heavy rollerblades. slowly, my hearing even became muffled. waaa i thought that was it! =xxxx

luckily im perfectly fine!! just that i wished the pain will be gone before friday, or else i wont be able to sit properly. imagine the long journey there!

---

my cousin's belated bday dinner over my house was good. it was great seeing her after so long. yes no matter what, i wish to believe she is still the good old cousin i knew. and i still love her for who she is.

---

when all comes alive!

yes, im beginning to breathe in the fact that it's only 5 days from now... after all these months of preparation, after hearing so much from my bro and other frens of what it is like to be on a YEP, after almost being able to join the previous expedition, it seems surreal that im FINALLY going for one.

sense of fear, anticipation, excitement, not knowing what to expect ... thousand and one emotions all jumbled up together...

even my dad just told me few hours ago that he is going to miss me already... 3 weeks is neither too long, or too short. but i guess it's enough to have a step forward to independence? hopefully.

---

the right thing at the wrong time, is still the wrong thing.

how true.

2008-05-09T16:46:00.000-07:00

ubin trip with my MDA mates - cai and cecs, yesterday.

the weather was superb. there wasnt much crowd, very few bicycles and vans around. cycling was much of an ease (: it's my first time to ubin, acting as the guide. so when i brought them up to the quarry, i was rather worried that i would accidentally steered off into another direction, into the wildness. haha but luckily we reached the top without much trouble. as we descended, i got quite shocked cos i couldnt find the bicycles that we parked. i almost thought we lost the bicycles. but heng heng, we actually exited from another pathway while chitchatting. haha really lucky we didnt end up some other ulu place.

soon the rain poured and it was really refreshing to cycle in the slight shower. you feel like the top of the world, feel like screaming as you cycle. it is as though the rain is washing away the troubles, the wind blowing away the unhappiness.

very quickly, we reached back near the jetty to have our seafood lunch. my first time trying the food there, i only tried the coconut juice everytime im there. the prices were reasonable.

after a fulfilling lunch, we cycled once more to chek jawa. cai didnt want to go there actually, but i pretended that we were just going to the observation tower and we suddenly discovered we were actually at chek jawa already. haha :p

as we cycled, we sang hummed to the tunes of jay chou songs, trying to strengthen our abs muscles and stamina.

as we trekked,
we continued singing horrendously :p like no one's business;
we spotted wild boars chasing each other;
we generously gave mossies a treat;
we jumped jumped and jumped - take ur pick of the best jumping skills or best phototaking skills - we trial and error for goodness how long! haha.

lying down over at the viewing jetty at chek jawa, basking in the soft glow of the sun and the slight sea breeze, i could have just dozed off right at the comfy spot.

we stayed there just like that for more than half an hour, just chitchatting... yes cecs, if only we could stay till the sunset. next time ya? (:

so lonesome, it stood out out from the rest of the lush greenery. it was white, stripped bare of its leaves. what a unique feature.

yes goodbye ubin, for now.

---

later in the evening, i rushed out of the house with the crumpled itinerary in my bag to meet nel for my fish and co treat. thanks! games at minds cafe with nel's frens were fun too. haha. really hope to meet nel and hk over at laos.

yes it will be a welcome surprise to see two familiar faces over at a foreign land. but please no surprise attack at night ya haha.

even though i ended up with a searing headache when i tried to sleep, i slept with a smile on my face for yesterday was really a fulfilling day.

(:

---

yay! time to meet my 'big sister'! it's funny how we manage to keep in contact even after 3 years or so. she's the volunteer coordinator over at daybreak fsc. i duno why i have that sense of closeness with her, even though she is about more than 10 years older than me.

i share with her almost everything, no obligations at all. we even discussed to have her bring me to china, new zealand etc when im slightly older. (:

2008-05-06T12:38:00.000-07:00

yes, i cant wait for the chalet! cant wait for the theme dinner party, the emo shit night, the movie marathon, the point system of who's going to sleep on the floor, the beach games, the stargazing, the sunrise sunset and the endless sharing sessions.

i think at the end of the three days, we might not want to see each other again haha. ahhhh i know we will have a great time together, laughing till our stomachs hurt, talking about our inner secrets. i cant wait! :D

not forgetting, the 回到過去 night...

seven memorable years and counting...

2008-05-05T22:31:00.000-07:00

Daughtry - What About Now

what about now?
what about today?
what if you're making me all that I was meant to be?

thanks sunny for introducing this song. the video is touching but i hope such charitable acts isnt just a commericialised one or a publicity stunt for themsevlves. i shd stop being cynical! anyway, i really love daughtry's songs!

how i wish i can drown myself in such soft rock music, blasting it into my ears in a live setting.

2008-05-04T14:11:00.000-07:00

exams drew to a close last friday. the last happy moment that i had when i left the place is to see my ME buddies wearing the emo shirt as someone so-called claimed. it was supposed to bring me and the rest more luck, but it seemed like it backfired haha.

now that the worst is over, there are a lineup of things i wish to do.

have you envisioned doing certain things with someone? not just anyone, but that someone?

i had.

long before the exams even started, i often daydream how nice if i can go to this and that place, do the things we both will love to do.

but even before the words are spoken and when all those plans fail to capitalise, what is left behind?

more agony, more aching moments.

and then, that deja vu sense of i should have known better.

i've seen none of my existence in yours yet i still so much want to reach out into your big dreams and plans. silly silly silly.

so much i've yet to tell you, so much i've yet to show you.

slowly, im getting back on my feet and all i wish that is time will quickly wash away those footprints.

---

i cant wait for a new haircut! more meetups with buddies this coming week which means more spending of money. argh. haha. i cant wait for the ubin trip, yesh i want to sweat sweat sweat and keep fit! teach me to rollerblade, tennis, squash and rock-climbing! ((:

2008-05-03T02:15:00.000-07:00

no more tagboard. no more links.
i feel like i can be more like myself in here again.

cant wait for all that lies ahead in the next few weeks. honestly, im fearful yet excited of expecting the unexpected in the foreign land. but what jv said is right, the feeling can be great too, that sense of anticipation and tingles of fear as well.

happy birthday, ah yan! :D

2008-04-18T23:08:00.000-07:00

thats the reason why i dont feel or want to return home cos' i never know which goodbyes will the last one.

now you know why?

and sadly, it's happening, isnt it?

---

im turning a cavewoman for the next 7 days till my first paper on sat.
mug hard everyone.

and please let the anxiety pass soon.

2008-04-14T23:00:00.000-07:00

對的人

saw this video clip on a fren's blog.

love it!

i feel like punching slapping kicking boxing that guy ! there's really no justice in love, isnt it? huiying, im here to support you! be very strong!

2008-04-13T00:27:00.000-07:00

hidden past

no it doesnt have any negative connotations.

when i bury my head in my notes and get sick n tired of staring at the same dry equations, i tend to dig up whatever i have around me. it never fails to surprise me what kind of items or rather junk (heehs) i have in my drawers and boxes.

some are indeed are heartwarming. some bring back really fond memories of primary, secondary and junior college days. some made me realise how fortunate happy and childlike i was then. others were regretful and made me cringe in pain of how foolish n naive i was then.

haha but i guess it's part of growing up.

looking back at those stacks of photos, diaries, colourful piles of letters n cards, autograph books, dozens of neoprint stickers, memory keepsakes, keychains (even spoilt ones), soft-toys, stickers, etc etc.

after all these years, even with the accumulated layers of rust dust and dirt, all these items are still as dear and precious as before. cos' all of them tell a different story and act as a kind timely reminder or evidence that certain events or even milestones indeed occur in my lifetime before.

this afternoon, i was rather taken aback to find probably my first letter that was addressed to me. it was actually the POSBkids club, dated 1998. exactly ten years ago.

and it's still kept neatly in one of my boxes.

hope my mom dont chance upon it or else it will end up in the bin. haha.

collage of photos - did this in jc days

a piece of artwork from krystal to cheer me up in either jc or sec sch days - i rmb being really touched n surprised by her effort ((: yea i was known to my clique as a sotong heeh :p

the one in blue is a card from my jc class, made by minyuan. it was a card to cheer me on, when i was the only girl left in my class to get a silver clearing for napfa. the words on that really spurred me on. ((: very heartwarming too.

---

the recent news of the illegal immigrants from myammar who suffocated to their death really got my attention. one could never imagine the torture they went through. in one of the photos, most of dead bodies' hands were outstretched. i can almost picture last scene before their deaths - pounding hard on the metal doors.

i read this from somewhere, ' no human being is illegal '. how true.

---

one last thing: there's a heated discussion going on here, http://www.straitstimes.com/ST%2BForum/Story/STIStory_226394.html

i just want to give my friend a big pat on the back for such bravery! u go girl ((:

i shant comment on anything, even though emotions are almost exploding inside me haha. but i dont wish to fester any already imflammed raw feelings. sometimes freedom of speech or ideologies really come with a price.

---

pain can be a good thing afterall.
it makes me realise that im still a human.
and we all do make mistakes.
we just need to know when to put a end to such pain.

---

studying really can make one so stressed n depressed!
jiayou my friends, dont give up yet!

---

by: tripowski

a colourful sight to behold (:

2008-04-07T18:28:00.000-07:00

here i am,
staring blankly at the computer screen.
my mind is in a struggle,

mazed in conflicting thoughts.

frivolous to some, i just cant make up my mind.

probably of the many things that i have come to realise lately that made me feel that life is so short to waste. those silent screams i had inside me, who really will understand? the tears that i shed late at night, who saw them?

i duno why i am so tired lately. mentally drained? tired of finding excuses to be happy? life's like a rollercoaster ride. can it stop?

i feel like running towards the warmth of sunlight where true happiness lies. but no, i've learnt through tough aching moments that i will let true love, happiness catch up on me.

im tired.

so life is indeed too short to despair.

i need to readjust my priorties.

---

yes, i've decided to extend my stay over at Laos till 3rd june.

lets hope all goes well.

sorry nelson & hk, most probably next year :D

2008-04-06T16:20:00.000-07:00

a day of being a gurang guni - 4th april

three cheers for raising a respectable sum of $1160 for a day's hard work at FAJAR road. the residents there were impressive! i love them!! haha ((:

one incident stood out. at our last block - 427, victor yuwei and i were all hyped up at our very last block... victor was already singing away :p and i just couldnt wait for the day to be over, yuwei was fully engrossed in the hard labour. i think i was the most lax in the group, mostly with almost nothing to carry cos victor and yuwei were like snatching items from my hands. kudos to them!! ((:

shoots, i side-tracked.. anyway, at our last block yuwei realised our stash of a computer monitor and stacks of newspaper were GONE. poor yuwei nearly went hysterical and went to interrogate the rubbish collectors and combed the rubbish collection points. all three of us had no choice and walked back to the meeting point, disheartened and silently blaming ourselves for not taking care of our stash.

but then, we met the gurang guni aunty who told us that she was at block 427 and found a man standing at the void deck who helped to load up a computer monitor and newspapers onto their lorry. what a GREAT guy eh!!

we were so impressed by that guy's actions. i mean we didnt even instruct him to do so, yet he selflessly stood there to help us guard the items. is he even human?? i think he's more like an angel sent from the heavens! hahaha. too bad we dont know his real identity or else i will write to the straits times forum to praise this fabulous man for this deed. ((:

photos:

group ONE ((:

us, doing some bo liao actions, taught by a bo liao me, heehs @ a playground

our colourful stash :D

group photo taken by yet another nice uncle from fajar road (:

2008-04-04T01:01:00.000-07:00

ONCE: Falling Slowly

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

---

last night i met up with weilin! (: it was nearly a year since we last met, freaking longggg!! haha. we had tons to catch up on and im glad she's doing well in ntu, blissful in good hands! heehs. yea we WILL meet soon again, dont make me wait for one more year ahhh :P

---

today im really glad, gratified, touched by someone - yea it's my 8th year running best friend! simply cos she took the trouble and effort to travel from ntu and nus, despite knowning she's tired from her project meetings and busy studying for her exams, despite the short notice of like 3 hours?.

she didnt take long to agree to accompany me on my star gazing session. nor did she take long to agree in buying one of the shirts. nor did she complain about her shoes getting muddy. nor did she complain of being tired. what more can i say?

it shows so much about our friendship.

it will be wonderful if you really do come over for your exchange. (:

thanks SO so SO so much for today.

i feel so blissed.

we will and shall make things right again.

---

ONCE: What does it feel like to be in love?

2008-04-02T00:51:00.000-07:00

星光帮 - 因为我相信

你说的每一句话像首歌反复传唱
储存在我的心上怎么可能把它遗忘
后来故事变得怎样我们的手依然不放
我所有的悲伤习惯有你陪伴
怎舍得再重返孤单
答应你我不会离去
我们只是短暂的分离
我会在附近紧握着回忆
陪着你前进
答应我你不会哭泣
我们有过那么多约定
因为我相信只要我相信
就会有奇迹
你说的我都体谅
我的秘密锁在你眼眶
我们从不同过往
并肩走向同一个方向
梦的重量压在我肩上
所幸有你分一些承担
满天的星光把每一步照亮
所以我们不会走散
答应你我不会离去
我们只是短暂的分离
我会在附近紧握着回忆
陪着你前进
答应我你不会哭泣
我们有过那么多约定
因为我相信只要我相信
就会有奇迹过去一个人
偶尔叹息也曾想过要放弃
如今不为自己也要为了你
笑着让梦延续
答应你我不会离去
我们只是短暂的分离

---

i do hope that no one will quit this YEP team!!

2008-04-01T01:00:00.000-07:00

another quickie on its way!

arghs im tired tired busy busy busy.

there's a long list of things waiting to be done.

going to be a delivery girl this week...

but it's a good thing cos i will be getting to meet friends whom i havent seen in AGES! :D

squiggly stacko @ science bazaar

will it ever come back again?

2008-03-28T13:53:00.000-07:00

updates on impending trip to LAOS

it's finally sinking into me that im REALLY going to Luang Prabang, Muang Kham Village from 16th to 31st May. (even though i will definitely miss my parents, SISTER! and dearest friends)

Luang Prabang is actually a UNESCO world heritage site since 1995. it's receiving more enthused backpackers each year, so i figure that the place might lose its rustic feel if it gets too commericalised.

from lonely planet, "A royal gem, reclining against the mountains and dangling its feet in the river."

"Awakened from a long slumber brought on by decades of war and revolution, Luang Prabang, made a Unesco World Heritage city for both its beautiful buildings and the serenity of its natural surrounds, has become Lao PDR's foremost tourist showpiece."

"Encircled by mountains and set 700m above sea level at the confluence of the Nam Khan (Khan River) and the Mekong River, the city's mix of gleaming temple roofs, crumbling French provincial architecture and multi-ethnic inhabitants tends to enthral even the most jaded travellers."

The place that our team will be staying is at Muang Kham village. we will be building a concrete multi-purpose court, concrete stairway to the school, plus conducting English classes.

"the village is an equally good spot to just sit by the river and watch life slide by." (: this is just what i need...

pictures:

over mekong river, stunning!

photos from the recce trip by bro & eric:

library in Muang Kham School
library at Muang Kham School classroom (we will be buying more blackboards for them)
morning assembly in the school
yes, the school again (:
our water point, yea we need to fetch our own water!
accomodation (for us girls!)
where we will be spending abt 14 days sleeping cosily tog (:

village pier after taking a 30 mins boat ride from town at Luang Prabang

---

that's about it. a lot preparation still need to be done and after our exams, i guess it will be mad rush till 16th May.

what about vietnam, china!? arghs really so tempting. *drools =P

okay daydreaming time over, time for tutorials again...

2008-03-27T00:46:00.000-07:00

arghs stop tempting me!! =P

2008-03-26T21:32:00.000-07:00

our dear ERIC,

WOA, u even sent the fundraising tshirts email to NUS Career Services (careers@nus.edu.sg), Gmail Team (gmail-noreply@google.com), jobstreet (lina@jobstreet.com), careercentral@jobfactory.com...

are u expecting a reply from them?! my sis and i nearly fainted from laughter. hahaha :D

oh boy, you still put my handphone number there!! waaaa... you're the best! =P

im gona kill you on sunday!!

2008-03-22T21:49:00.000-07:00

let this be a quickie!!

thanks to my dearest friends thus far, who have supported me in the sale of the tshirts - weilin (: , best senior (even we have lost contact for so long!), my sister's friends, CHARLES! sl, wh, nelson, etc etc etc and even friends' friends whom i never know... and suddenly receive their emails in my inbox. hee i know there will be many more coming in. hahaha =P really touched and im highly appreciative of all who lent their most generous support. it's amazing how friendships stretches so far in times of need.

okay my quickie is over and let me get started with my endless tutorials which im lagging soooo far behind.

2008-03-21T00:30:00.000-07:00

arghs! i cant stand this crappy shit anymore.
please take it away from me.
thats not what i want =(((((((((((((((((((((((

-what hurts the most is that you never know the truth.

2008-03-17T01:11:00.000-07:00

one year ago, i was at the same dilapidated two storey shelter. being back at the same place revokes certain memories. ubin really rocks! the serenity - it's just the place when u need some time to yourself.

with this YEP team, the experience couldnt have been better. it's really THE time to bond closer to the team members, with everyone smelling as stinky. hee.

i love the screams that we did at the top of the quarry and listening to the echos. thanks to ho ling for encouraging me on to dispel those unhappiness and stress in me.

there are more to be said. but right now, i cant formulate the right words. i will give more updates some other time.

my birthday couldnt have come at a 'better time'. but i soon realise that it's just another day. no matter how much u anticipate it, it will just be another day as the clock will soon strike twelve again. even with the absence of many presents and cakes, im still very glad and gratified to have my sms inbox flooded. haha. it's nice knowing friends still remember you, even those whom have lost contact long before. also not forgetting those who are overseas and still take the extra effort to email a greeting. thanks to all who remembered. it really matters a lot to me! (:

2008-03-14T07:05:00.000-07:00

why do tears come hand-in-hand with sickness?

2008-03-07T01:08:00.000-08:00

phew midterms are over, but the thought of having another one 2 weeks from now is intimidating, it leaves things hanging in the air. even more so when the weekend before the test i will be away at the lovable ubin island. yea im totally looking forward to it. time for self-reflections, independence and most importantly, a much needed breather from the hectic school work.

suddenly shuwen's question of 'how has the past year changed for you?' came to my mind, halfway whilst mugging for midterms.

honestly, when she asked me that, i was momentarily stunned, lost for words cos i havent thought about it before. more often than not, time just slips through our fingers, before we truly absorb what has happened. i realise self-reflections is essential, but of cos not to the point of losing ur senses in deep emotional thoughts.

going back to shuwen's question, i will love to answer that right now (before i turn older by the year which makes me feel old and small) but funnily, i still cant answer it haha. maybe i havent change for the past year? oh boy... =P i hope not.

ubin will be a good time (:

2008-03-01T22:47:00.000-08:00

左右为难 - 蔡淳佳

路,肩并肩走着,
折磨,在空气中渐渐蔓延
抬头看见你也渗透了
好久不见,我深切的问候
放手,会不会解脱
成全,会不会是一条出路
为难,是谁介入了谁呢?
先来后到的顺序有没有

放手,会不会解脱
离开你,会不会是一条出路
为难,是谁介入了谁呢?
先来后到的顺序有没有

我让你不再左右为难了
就当作从来就没有认识过
不再让你左右为难了
只要你和他很快乐,我没关系
不想在听你找的借口
好吧,从今之后不要再联络
不再让你左右为难了
当作从来就没有认识过我

你和她别再那么左右为难了
只要你和她很快乐
我没关系,这是爱你的决定

---

jiayou everyone for the upcoming midterm exams. ahhh i cant wait for 2nd May to arrive. just 2 months away, i can almost smell the freedom. haha. to my dearest frens, lets be happy, not for anyone else, but for us alone. huiying, especially you! im always worried abt you: 总有一天幸福会同行. last night, while conversing with krystal on the phone for some last min mle discussion, i realise how much i miss her! 2 weeks already~ seems like ages. and sharon too, we will see you at your proudest moment on stage ya! ahhh~ i cant wait :D jerica & koon, hope u're doing okay, jiayou for ur exams. shuwen, i miss you already, be well! i miss eveyone else too.

haha i shd stop listening emo korean songs on youtube - simply addictive! even though i dont have any idea what they are sayin =x

2008-02-27T00:55:00.000-08:00

while i still have a chance, let me be at my happiest.

2008-02-26T02:02:00.000-08:00

MINDs MYG FAMILY DAY - 23rd Feb

some of the YEP members and i joined the team from reach out organisation on this excursion to Haw Par villa, a treasure hunt to be exact.

it was my first time volunteering for MINDS and i must say it was an insightful and humbling experience. contrary from what i have heard from my friends & siblings, the experience was not as frightening or shocking as expected. probably due to the fact that the IDs from our group were high-functioning (actually im not too receptive of this word cos it makes the IDs sound unhuman, like some kind of machines/robots?) and less dependent on us. in fact, some of them looked so normal to me that it was difficult to differentiate the volunteers from the IDs. however, this is not the case for the other MINDS groups. it is heartwrenching to see such deformities on another human being.

from this experience, i must say i've gained quite a bit out of it. even though the weather was atrocious (super hot!) and with the steep slopes, typical singaporeans would have just walked straight out of there. but not with these IDs. even though most of them had troubles walking, they perservered and often, not complaining at all.

also, it marvels me that they still enjoyed themselves, from the cheerful grins from their faces. a simple outing to an almost nothing to see place, can make them so content. even im ashamed.

swee ling (if i rmb correctly) held onto my hand and i was her big sister (jie jie) for that 4 hrs. it's a feeling i cant describe holding her hand. cos it brings me back memories from other volunteering experiences with children, holding those little hands. but swee ling is 38 years old. i just cant help feeling, sad? but i dont think i even have the right to pity her. cos i believe that in her world, she is happy enough and living well, most probably even better than me.

it's time to reflect on how i should lead the rest of my life.

thank you, swee ling and rest! (: (of cos to jackie too!)

gibson me swee ling mehraj

2008-02-23T02:16:00.000-08:00

"take a deep breath.
and then let it out.
and then everything is solved."

*takes in one DEEEEEEEEP breath.

2008-02-22T22:20:00.000-08:00

tumbling thoughts

R. Feynman once said:
No one can tell the future … as they cannot even tell us the present.

2008-02-22T13:03:00.000-08:00

终于说出口 - 小宇

你终于说出口其实你早就已经不爱我
为什么要低着头你知道这玩笑骗不到我
可是这不是玩笑是要逃避你离开我的理由
我还能做什么你已经不爱我
我一直都爱着你难道这还不够
我还要做什么你才不离开我
我知道你已无心再继续看着我
一心想离开我

我终于也说出口其实很爱你但从没认真说过
或许是我的错太在乎你却只放在心中
不要问我为什么因为爱你这就是我的理由
我还能做什么你已经不爱我
我一直都爱着你难道这还不够
我还要做什么你才不离开我
我知道你已无心再继续看着我
没什么需要被原谅我笑的有些牵强
你知道我总是能够假装不难过

我不想看你那么累多希望再给我机会
再搂着我的手握住的只是风
还能做什么你已经不爱我
我一直都爱着你难道这还不够
我还要做什么你才不离开我
我知道你已无心再继续看着我
一心想离开我

nice song! haha...

be gracious, pam.

time to start studying hard. no more nonsense from you, pam.

2008-02-17T21:36:00.000-08:00

random randomness

i dont know what to feel anymore.

---

busy busy busy.
fulfilling yes it is.
im afraid of falling apart from the mounting stress.
maybe im stretching myself a little too much.
i need to pull myself together back to the studying mode.

i just attended my first ever live singing concert at esplanade last night.
thanks for fulfilling one of my must-dos! :D
im happy, really.

2008-02-15T12:39:00.000-08:00

It's not goodbye - Laura Pausini

Now what if I never kiss your lips again
or feel the touch of your sweet embrace.
How would I ever go on?
Without you there's no place to belong
Well someday love is going to lead you back to me
but till it does I'll have an empty heart
So I'll just have to believe
somewhere out there you're thinking of me

Until the day I let you go,
Until we say our next hello
It's not goodbye.
Til I see you again
I'll be right here remembering when
And if time is on our side
there will be no tears to cry on down the road
there is one thing I can't deny
It's not goodbye

You'd think I'd be strong enough to make it through
and rise above when the rain falls down
But its so hard to be strong
when you've been missing somebody so long
It's just a matter of time I'm sure
but time takes time and I can't hold on
so wont you try as hard as you can
to put my broken heart together again?

Until the day I let you go,
Until we say our next hello
It's not goodbye.
Til I see you again
I'll be right here remembering when
And if time is on our side
there will be no tears to cry on down the road
there is one thing I can't deny

It's not goodbye

2008-02-08T12:30:00.000-08:00

sweet, bitter memories of cny

it's the same scene everytime we visit the place. amongst the probably thousand photos, our eyes will scan frantically for her photo. but this time it's not just one, but two. it's the first cny without him. but to see his photo resting comfortably next to her photo brings comfort that they have reunited and without any pain.

later at night, the usual bustling night activites started over at my house. first is dinner, then all the titbits, jelly, fruits out in full force, after that is gamble time, followed by yusheng, lastly end off with another round of intense gamble (double the speed, runnning out of time :p)

2nd day

river hongbao! yeap we ate, ehhhh lotsa junk food :p, but it's nice! haha. not forgetting the view from the marina waterfront, it's remarkable. and how can i ever forget the spectacular fireworks! it may not be the best show displayed. but it was the first time for me. thanks to (: !

some random photos

once in a life time experience! :p - gong li.

i thought this cny will be dull and boring but it has been proven wrong! i thought i would have nothing to do and bought lotsa materials to make for vday. but OH NO, i dont have time!!! =x sorry peeps, belated one okay? :P

hilarious photo!

this mosaic photos was taken using my sis's hp. they are actually made up of different parts of faces from different people.

clockwise: 1) my bro's eyes 2) sis's eyes 3) my mouth 4) mom's mouth

okay it's rather duhz =P

---

on a sidenote, go and watch the kite runner! it has been proven to be one of the better movies to watch :D

whee, im off to sentosa now. (i dont have to do my tutorials liao =x !) enjoy the rest of the cny hols, everyone :D

2008-02-07T14:21:00.000-08:00

yeap i understand how jerica feels. like sometimes when im feeling down in spirits and i want to pour out my woes to someone, i dont know who to tell them too. it's not that i dont have anyone to tell them to. rather, i cant pinpoint whom. im afraid of imposing or disturbing the person. sometimes i will scroll down the list of contacts in my handphone, pondering whom i should send the message. but after a minute or so, the message is just left stagnant in my drafts folder.

friends, we all have them. but all we need is actually just one person to rely on day or night. im happy right now. but when that bout of sadness arises or troubles brew, i will be left wondering whom i can truly rely on.

like what jerica mentioned in her blog, it seems like the circle of closer friends is reducing when more friends get attached and they spend more quality time with their partners. of cos it's natural and understandable once one's status change. all we're afraid is that we're left behind alone and no one bothers about us anymore. fears fears fears. maybe it's the time of our life to become more independent. and at the end of the day, even if we are not loved, it does not matter anymore.

*showers huiying with all the love i can find.

2008-02-07T13:42:00.000-08:00

happy CNY!

okay this skin is much better (:

last night's reunion dinner was the most touching one we had for ages. cos we webcamed with my cousin over at australia. she kept saying omg omg omg. hahaha. it was very heartwarming, esp to see how my uncle's eyes sparkled when he finally got to see his precious daughter; how concerned he was to know more about the living conditions she was in. halfway through the conversation, i took a glance at him and he was dabbing his teary eyes with his handkerchief while grinning so cheerfully in the webcam.

YEP fundraising

venue: engin faculty, outside LT6
days: monday to wednesday
time: 10am to 6pm

we're having our first fundraising event for our trip to laos. we'll be selling ICECREAM. please please do lend us your generous suport. we need funds for the building materials, etc, over at the luang prabang village at laos. contact me if you need me to persuade you to buy! =P

2008-02-06T17:41:00.000-08:00

arghs silly me lost the previous template - all my links! :(

anyway, happy chinese to all in advance! :D

im in a merry merry mood these few days.

说不出有多么快乐

somehow this cny will be different.
without my grandpa, cny seems to lose its meaning, its tradition.
i wish he and my grandma will be somewhere near us
overlooking us -
knowing that behind our masks of joy, at the back of our minds,
we're still fondly remembering the good old days with them around.

i miss them so.

2008-01-19T01:18:00.000-08:00

有没有人告诉你

today it was great meeting shuwen. thanks so much for the nougats and the treat! (: it feels so comfortable and at ease talking to a friend whose thoughts and opinions are similar to mine.

shuwen, we'll meet up soon k. sentosa lunge! :D i will miss you loads when u return to aust!

is it ever possible to maintain a platonic relationship? i believe we can, even though i experienced a setback on that issue. but im not going to let that affect my stand that it's possible. if only we are mature enough to draw the line clearly, to prevent any unwanted misunderstandings. in the past, i was silly and immature enough not to draw the line clearer and bolder.

if love can hurt one so badly, why love in the first place? if love can invoke hatred, why the word love?

maybe im losing hope in this noble thing called love. i feel im not game enough for it. i lack the courage to trust in it whole-heartedly. it's the fear of rejection, commitment, heartaches, empty promises, breaking of trust, etc.

yea i know there are many other happier things associated to love - sense of knowing that there's someone u can rely on, tender loving care, etc

but i just cant convince myself that being in love is better off than being single. i duno what i want out of a relationship. maybe i've grown too used to be on my own. or maybe im just running away from it. i duno.

in the past few months, i felt my trust in some people have been thwarted. so much so that i completely duno them anymore. so much so that i feel like running away from them. it's an irreversible change.

are you my friend?

2008-01-09T15:57:00.000-08:00

Take That - Rule the World (Stardust)

thanks to weihuang for introducing me this song. im currently addicted to it. ((:

holland village - alas!

also, i've finally went to holland v for the first time yesterday! :D those small restaurants and pubs are really provide soothing and cosy ambience to chill out.

also, singer yanzi walked past us shoulder close over at holland v. haha! what a small world. sorry only back view. heehs. :P

oh anyway before heading to holland v, weihuang wanted to donate blood at outram and asked me to do so too. upon reaching there, i hestitated so long that in the end, i didnt have the guts to fill up the form. i just hate injections and fear pain. what a loser i am! nvm, next time im there, im going to force myself to fill it up. haha.

irritating system

for the past few days, i felt super irritated by the nus CORS system. arghs it's a long story. i duno what im going to do IF i manage to get the ctw slot i want and also, get the science gem i bidded for. URHS. super frustrating. either i acknowledge the fact im SUPER suay or that the nus cors system is just plain UNFAIR.

first lesson of tai ji quan

on monday night, my parents, my sister and i attended our first TAI JI QUAN class at punggol cc :P. my sister and i were the only two young adults around. when we were practising our moves, i heard and saw 2 teens sniggering past us. arghs! ignorant kids. haha. but cant blame them. if im just a passer-by, i would have also giggled at the funny movements of tai ji quan.

but now, my impression has changed. each and every movement has its own purpose and health benefits. no doubt, it can look silly and i was struggling to stiffle my laughter when i looked at my dear father. then again, i think i looked funny too. heehs. (huiying even asked me to cheer her up with my movements when we meet on friday! =P)

oh well, im treating it as a good workout. it really does make us sweat and muscles ache. haha. also, it's a good family bonding too and it forces my really lazy, couch potato father do some forms of exercise.

11 more lessons to go! (: it's going to get more challenging.

heavenly chocolatety

this shop 'awfully chocolate' sells dark rich chocolate cake. u will never get sick of it. for a person like me who doesnt really fancy chocolate cake as of its overfilling chocolate cream. but no, this cake is soft like a sponge cake and no fattening cream at all. just pure heavenly chocolate. a must try! :DD

2008-01-08T02:18:00.000-08:00

YEP Laos 08

let me take this chance to publicise this project a little. we're looking for PASSIONATE people and COMMITTED young adults who wants to give back to the society and at the same time, bringing a whole NEW perspective into their lives.

16th to 30th May - it's a time to reflect on how fortunate we are and treat it as a learning experience. to discover more about ourselves and to learn from our fellow counterparts.

we're not doing any fanciful or glamorous job. instead we're going to get our hands dirtied, sweating it out for the pre, post and actual expedition. also, let us not expect anything in return. go with an open mind and return as more matured and fine-tuned individuals.

drop me an email, call me, send me an sms or simply do everything and anything to contact me if u're interested or have any burning queries. we will need any help possible.

click on the picture for a clearer view:

alternatively, u can find more information from this website

HUANG HUIYING, PLS GO AND SLEEP can! :D i know u miss me like crazy :P

2008-01-04T14:23:00.000-08:00

HSBC treetop trail walk - 02-01-08

with my uni tutorial mates - huiyan, peixian and susheel. (: the weather was just right for a trekking trip albeit the slight drizzle. it was really a loooong way to reach the treetop trail, especially with all girls chitchatting along the way. what great memories, even with us getting afraid by the large numbers of monkeys and getting disorientated halfway through. the scenery was gorgeous. but the irony of all is that we are actually so close to civilisation even though we seemed to be in the midst of the nature. we could hear cars whizzing past... it really spoils the mood. haha. thanks to huiyan for leading the way. i cant wait for our biking adventure! (:

huiyan and i are fans of the coffee prince (korean drama). looks familiar? :P
at the top!

taking a rest.

at the start of the trail.

daybreak's children holiday programme - 15-12-07

this time we brought children (from low income families) to the dragon's kiln to have a first hand experience at pottery. it's really interesting! i've learnt quite a bit too. later, we went to suntec city's eng wah function place to have mac lunch, followed by some games & prize giving. finally, we watched the alvin and chipmunks movie! haha i'd a few free movie tickets. glad that jiahuiNfriend, plus yadong could come, or else it will be really wasted. THANKS to eeteng for helping out too!

this excursion had brought back more emotions, as i've been with the 2 children in this programme since they've joined it and that excursion was their last one. in a way, i watched them grow up and mature into young teenagers. 3 years already and i didnt even realise how long it has been.

when i witnessed how these 2 good friends bickered about minor things and patched up almost immediately, when the small notes of apologies were thrusted into my hands (i was their messenger :P) ... suddenly i was rewound back to my primary school days. those innocence...

wo de hai zi (:

more photos throughout the event

Children's Christmas Celebration

gathering @ hg mall (as usual!) - 03-01-08

heehs. we were webcam whoring with huiying's laptop! :D yeah another project has been released - PROJECT C! i cant wait for the month of MAY to come. oh yea~

jc xmas gathering @ suntec - 29-12-07

the most hilarious thing happened after we took this shot! the xmas tree behind us FELL flat on the floor! all the ornaments rolled off :P so LUCKILY, the place was quite ulu so we didnt attract much attention. hahaha!

4e3 gathering @ bliss restaurant - 29-12-07

thanks to those for coming! 26 out of 43 attended. even though it was lesser than a year ago, i think not bad right? haha. comforting myself. it was the first time we exchanged presents for xmas.

im HAPPY i got krystal's present. haha! ((: pure luck. as there was one extra present left and it had to be an alcholic cocktail from wl, some very nice classmates of mine asked me to drink it. it tasted like coffee! haha. not too bad. see what peer pressure brings you to :P. but i didnt drink it all though.

my lil sister and krystal were worried cos i was getting HIGH by the minute. it wasnt cos of the drink, but cos i was really glad that the 26 of my fellow classmates made it for the gathering :D

before we parted, we reminisce some good OLD memories from photos contributed by some of us on ben's laptop, plus that highly controversial video. haha. really amateur. i cant believe it's out on youtube! arghs. i duno where to hide my face. haha. but it's a good thing we still can laugh at ourselves :P

mahjong session with jc peeps @ josh's hse - 22-12-07

2008-01-02T00:50:00.000-08:00

happy 2008!

my first post in the new year and im lost for words. haha. 2007 wasnt a smooth sailing year. rather, it was one of my saddest years in my memories. with the grief of my grandpa's passing, being worried for my mum's health, the bitter pill over A level results, the uncertainty and fear faced in university, the disappointments over empty promises, the greater sense of emptiness ...

however, all these made me grow up and mould me into a stronger and better person. even those events, i wouldnt have discovered that im so blessed with such a loving family, a father who never fails to cheer me up with his childish ticklish acts, a mother who always put her children's interests infront of her own and never complain about it, a brother who cares about me deep down even he puts on a steel face most of the time, a sister whom i can rely on at any time.

my family is everything i need and all i ever wanted.

few days ago, my father mentioned that, "even if im going to stay single for the rest of my life, he is going to take care of me till he grows old." (:

of cos, 2007 has brought me its own share of happinesses.

in short, THANKS to:

1. my mda ex-colleagues for giving me the fulfilment of 7 months
2. charles, liching & daybreak for giving me many volunteering opportunties to make me feel life is a blessing in disguise
3. the past lao yep team for the ubin retreat for making me discover more of myself
4. edmund, joel and the rest of the team for giving me the courage to challenge myself
5. nus cac orientation camp to give me a first hand exposure of how uni life is like
6. new-found uni friends for making the transition into nus engin a smoother ride
7. my seniors who always giving me valuable advice and push me on with many encouragements
8. muskies for giving endless joy and a listening ear to all my woes
9. HUANG HUIYING! for telling me how much she misses me, for her many cyber hugs, for making me feel so loved. (being so mushy isnt my style, im kinda forced =P, but i still love her no matter what.)
10. and of cos to all my other friends - jc mates, interact exco peeps, etc etc. i believe you will know if im refering about you, even without me saying. u've made a difference in my life. and i hope i had made one in yours too.

for the coming year, there will be lotsa to look forward to and im gearing myself for them, especially yep laos trip. it's going to be my milestone for 2008! (:

to all, let's look forward to the new year with much anticipation.

2007-12-31T01:15:00.000-08:00

相遇太早

2007-12-27T01:02:00.000-08:00

let the rain fall and wake my dreams

i shant mention anything about my results. thanks to those who were genuinely concern about me. i will work harder and smarter next semester. let me wallow in self pity and bury myself in sadness for just today itself. tml onwards, i will be up again and start believing in myself. good luck to those who havent receive theirs! (:

let the happier moments replace the sadder ones

12-12-2007 is one special day for the 5 of us. for this year, due to time constraint, we had our special gathering on the 13th dec and to celebrate huiying's belated birthday. it was really a day filled with miracles. one best miracle is that it didnt rain a single drop! we're blessed, really.

we had our dinner at watercress, pasir ris park, just next to the beach itself!

the sea was the backdrop.

the cool gentle sea breeze was our companion.

the classic love songs were our entertainer, while bringing back good childhood memories.

the soft glowing flame brought out the right cosy ambience.

the carpet of stars above were there to remind us that, no matter how busy we are, when we look at the starry night sky, it will be same stars twinkling back at us, reminding us that we are never far apart.

we talked like there's never tomorrow. cos' it aint easy to get 5 of us with different schedules to meet up. but when we do, we have so much fun, dont we? (:

big princesses balloon.

bubble milk tea.
pink and grey.

smelly toilet.

sand.
breeze.

starry night.

sparklers.

night sticks.

swing.

playground.

london bridge.

niki - nikon.

extreme ugliness.

those priceless memories. thanks so so much to all 4 of you. (: life will never be the same without each and everyone of you.

i dun have the photoshop programme. so i used paint! haha. just bear with it ya =P huiying said im too ugly to be seen. yea that's the bday girl talking. so better listen to her! haha.

our elmo's face! xD

even with the world being black and white, knowing you brings colours to my life.

:: that's our project M! :: (:

2007-12-21T16:15:00.000-08:00

memories unlocked

my dear ten year old cousin is at my house right now. as i thought hard of what to entertain her, i let her take a look at my photos in my computer. oh boy. what a sweet and nostalgia feeling it is to look at those photos.

let me share one here...

spiritmakers camp - reach out for the stars

this is one of my most cherishable moments in 2006, having spent it with my 2 dearest jc frens - jerica and koon. (: and to have met my new frens whom most i still keep in contact till date - yexiang, weihuang & pengfei.

i will share one per post. okie it's time for the playground at the park with my cousin! (:

2007-12-21T02:16:00.000-08:00

memories erased

those emails dated '03.

they were still there.

untouched.

unwanted.

4 years.

amongst 2000+ emails

it's time to clear the dust and to erase those memories. it's amazing how this funny thing called fate twines us round its fingers.

2007-12-21T01:51:00.000-08:00

teachings

for the past 2 days, other than meeting up with frens & attending YEP meeting, i attended a Zen talk by a dharma monk from Poland. this is my first time at hand with mediation and listening to such a talk.

new insights are gained. one main point i have taken away from this talk is that human often think things in a complicated way or in an intellectual way, which is often uncalled for. this first question posed by the monk was,

'what is colour of this floor?'

the answer is plainly brown.

but to some people, they cant believe the answer is that simple. they will try to think of some intellectual answer, like pale brown or orange brown.

things are very simple from the start. but in this complicated life we live in today, even the most simplest things are often looked at in the most difficult way.

is happiness an illusion, when compared to sadness? since there are always a duality in everything.

the answer is that we shouldn't even accept happiness or avoid sadness in the first place. these two emotions are interlinked. in most people's new year resolutions, people say they want happiness.

but is there such thing as real happiness? there is only temporary happiness.

rather than us chasing happiness while letting sadness catches up with us, the teaching is that we should reverse this wrong concept instead. let us run away from happiness and slowly, happiness will catch up with us.

i realise zen teachings can get very philosophical and objective too. but i left the place with a light-hearted feeling (:

2007-12-18T13:29:00.000-08:00

i miss her so much

im talking about my cousin who is in australia right now. i have never known how much pain and heartache she has went through till today. for the past year or so, people have been scolding and lamenting her about her selfish ways. but i know she isnt a completely bad girl deep in her. now that i know she has realised her mistakes and turning back, i cant help tearing. it's tears of joy and relief for my dear cousin.

'this a good lesson learnt. if i dont experience it, i wont know how to change.'

im really proud of you, hwee. you will make it back here safe. pls promise me. i've always treated you like my big sister and i dun want anything to happen to you.

thoughts

so many things have happened recently. life can get so complicated and fragile. i need to cherish human relations and family ties more, lest it is too late for regrets. sometimes it is hard to keep to the promise when time is never enough.

i cant wait for you to back in spore. one more week...

2007-12-18T12:36:00.000-08:00

what's the colour of love?

this is shuwen's answer to it:
1) red: passion
2) brown: solid, stable, unwavering

as for me, i choose white. reason being white represents pure and innocence. love should not be tainted by others - family, friends, ex-lovers. it should only be between two souls.

then what's the colour of friendshp?

shuwen still stands by red&brown. hee. for me, i cant pin point a single colour. so rainbow! (: cos a strong friendship goes through different stages and each colour represents different emotions and feelings involved. also, i feel that rainbow cant be used for the love is because i believe that love isnt for eternity.

friends, they are all i need. (: and im really thankful for those who stay by me.

2007-12-12T23:06:00.000-08:00

first aider!
yeap i attended this first aid workshop with my brother and sister and im a qualified first aider! (: it was a nice experience attending such a thing with your siblings. our instructor, mr suhu was a real joker! will miss his jokes and the friendly aunties and uncles there.

in fact a boxer instructor who attended the course wish to take my sister and i under his wings. he wanted to train a twin boxers. *shudders. i cant imagine myself boxing my sister. ( even though i dont mind :P)

a decision made - finally

yeap i would be joining my brother on his YEP to laos in late May next year. actually i didnt decide this on my own. it was my brother who told me yesterday that he had already put me in the project. haha. i hope to get mentally and physically prepared for it cos it wouldnt be an easy feat. there will be meetings every week, the pre-expedition and the local cip project. no doubt it wont be easy to juggle uni work, tuition assignments and driving lessons (if i sign up tml). but i will remain positive and pray that things will turn out fine. at the end of day, i know i will feel a sense of achievement. (:

neoprints from last thur's shopping (:

2007-12-12T22:13:00.000-08:00

张靓颖 - 我走以后

何润东 - 黑色翅膀

《一追再追》

as quoted from someone:
to feel love, one must allow to be loved.

2007-12-11T18:49:00.000-08:00

hk's belated 21st bday celebration

afterthoughts:
hopefully hk enjoyed his bday even though it came a month later. (even though he paid everything! heehs thanks! (: ) anyway it was nice meeting nelson and hk after the stinky exams were over. too bad susheel couldnt make it. i miss her though. hope to see her next week! (: also it felt good to know i can click with hk's and nel's frens.

2007-12-09T00:09:00.000-08:00

HAPPY HAPPY day at UBIN!

on the way to UBIN! finally after '3 years of planning'! :P

first stop of the day! my legs were killing me already 0.O

second stop - feeding time for mossies!
jiahui doesnt like her neck to be too long.
jiahui and me
our xmas tree! (: created by joshua
at chek jawa's observation tower - getting ready to...
... JUMP!
(look in the background! extra joshua with
ash smiling on. then where's vincent??!) another JUMP!
poor minyuan! :P

hmm enjoying the scenary ((:

it's jiahui again! ^^

group photo at the observation tower!

our purpose of this photo is to include the aeroplane flying past above!

taxi groupie 1

taxi groupie 1 - yay we're at the airport in our stinky attire.

afterthoughts:

there are as though a thousand needles poking into my legs right now. i cant even walk with my legs straight! i better rest at home tml. ((: anyway it was a worthwhile trip to cycle at ubin with my jc friends. i made it out of there alive - without any injuries! thanks to my friends for patiently watiting for me to catch up.

AND AND it's GREAT seeing shuwen again. u still look the same - the good nice shuwen :D meet up with you another day k!

yes another memorable day locked...

2007-12-08T23:32:00.000-08:00

cultural night 07/12/2007weihuang and i went to watch this concert last night at the esplanade. both of us nearly fall asleep (actually we did! =P) in the beginning cuz we cant relate to the songs. maybe it's too high a level to appreciate the beauty of the music. we shouldnt be falling asleep cuz we were supposed to be cultured people! haha.

anyway the pianist soloist was full of attitude and wh said the way she walked like seemed going to the market! =P haha. she was full of angst and frustration while playing the pieces. luckily towards the end, the pieces sound more familiar and light-hearted. i love the overture 1812 by Tchaikovshy (: how i wish a live orchestra will play me a live version of that song on my wedding day, with the effect of the fireworks! but weihuang thinks it will give everyone a heart attack instead. :P

pieces of art create by children using the crocs shoes

the walkway to esplanade was transformed to like a fairyland. very colourful! (:

2007-12-06T00:26:00.000-08:00

love is in the air ♥

part of our conversation with huiying and krystal. ((((: the earlier part of it when we tried to condemn alvin for copying our synchronised msn nick was super funny too. gosh i think i laughed too much again :P *thanks to fabian's hugging emoticon. my frens love it so much.
click on the picture to have a clearer look.

2007-12-05T22:53:00.000-08:00

#5 of list one fulfilled !

yea 2 hours at ajisien and another 4 hours at cafe cartel. what a therapy! (: before krystal joined us (after her last paper!), huiying, my sister and i were talking about the ups and downs in our lives, depicting the sadness and happiest moments. we came to conclude 2 main things:

1. it's not easy to describe our happiest moments cuz probably there are just too many of them that they seem insignificant. rather, we choose to be bothered about the sad moments instead. it's always easier to remember depressing occasions, do we? maybe it's just us girls.

2. sadness accentuates happiness. somehow we cherish happiness even more when we experience sadness.

us, the great philosophers :P

but somehow things changed when krystal joined us. lame crazy weird jokes were made. it felt so good to be with friends whom you can feel so comfortable with and not getting angry even when someone calls you 'the extreme ugliness'.

we came up with 2 'mega' projects. (H and M) okie whether it'll be mega a not, it will depend on how determined and united us 5 will be. (: as for sharon who is overseas right now, fret not! we'll update you when u're back k.

thanks you girls for fulfilling one of my misses. it's been quite some time since i last felt such closeness. if only sharon is around.

one great artistic shot from me!

i was going home after a paper late at night. and the bus is so empty! quite eerie too. but it was nice to have the whole bus to myself. heehs. more like a chartered bus just for me. (: